Emotional aspects of a divorce
Emotions play a major part in almost all the decisions taken by the ex-partners. For example, think about the discussion on spousal and child maintenance, the drawing up of a parenting plan or the division of wealth: if you think this can all be arranged easily, you will quickly come to realise that these subjects may all lead to vehement discussions. Particularly when children or money are involved, a phenomenon can take place which we call ‘brain hijacking’: emotions run so high that they, as it were, hijack the brain. If this happens, it becomes impossible to think clearly. This can make it very difficult to come to a sound long-term solution.
To divorce is to mourn. It is the process of letting go of the past and giving shape to a new future. In many cases, one of the ex-partners (usually the person initiating the divorce) has already entered this new phase and is ready for a new life, whereas the other partner is still feeling crushed and can only see the past. This hampers the process. By means of active coaching during the process, we ensure that this grief is dealt with and that the ex-partners are able to take decisions which suit both themselves and their children.
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